My Grandpa Dell

 I lost my grandpa back in February. 

It has been hard knowing that this was the first of many emotional moments that have and will follow losing him. My family will be going to Washington in June for a memorial in his honor. After being in a difficult part of my pregnancy and not being able to visit when he passed, I'm ready to give my grandma a big hug! 

I wanted to share something I wrote down about the memories I have and will cherish of him ...

While my grandpa lived in a different state most of my life, it never kept him from frequent road trips with my grandma in their RV, truck, or motorcycle to visit. He was there for all of my big life events ... dance competitions and piano recitals, graduating high school, my wedding day, and meeting both of my children shortly after they were born. Every time he saw me he always had the biggest smile on his face, gave the best hug, and called me "sweetie". In younger years he'd tell me all about his latest trips and adventures or show me his wood shop where he was an incredible craftsman. The last few years have left him pretty hard of hearing and it has been difficult to carry on a long conversation like we used to but I never felt like it mattered because he said everything that needed to be said just by being there. My heart goes out to my grandma who has spent most of her life loving him and now has to part for a time. I love you grandpa! Thank you for making this world a better place. You will be missed so much!! <3

Valentine's Day & a weekend of snow

My entryway has become one of my favorite spaces to style for holidays. I don't have a ton of Valentine decor but I do have quite a bit of pink. ;)

On Valentine's Day our kids woke up to a surprise heart attack on their doors with the many things we love about them ... a new tradition that I'm excited to continue each year!

I woke up to the sweetest gift of all, this origami card bouquet of flowers from the guy who loves me the most! He was worried with my aversion to smells that I wouldn't be able to handle real flowers in our kitchen so he did this instead. Gosh it made me smile! The best part is that they carefully fold down so I can save them and put them back up to always remember this year and his unconditional ways of showing me he loves me. 

Speaking of that sweet guy of mine, he really is man of the year because he made everyone heart shaped pancakes for breakfast too! 

They opened a few fun surprises in their Valentine mailboxes and then heart gift bags from Papa and Grandma Dee in Pocatello filled with candy. 

We wanted to make the day extra special for them this year so we gave them each a new toy they had on their wish lists ... 

Liam got a Jurassic Park lego and Lyla was so giddy to finally get this Woody doll "Buddy as she likes to call him"  ...

The gift that keeps on giving was a weekend filled with SNOW! I was able to rest while the kids spent hours and hours playing in it ...

A special weekend with the people I love! <3

Moments during winter

 Well as you can imagine, being eternally nauseous and bed/couch ridden, the winter months were long ones ... for everybody. We didn't go anywhere or do anything but these little people in my world still managed to spark the most joy. Like this moment for example when we let her spend some of her Christmas money from Grandma Sue in Pocatello on this horse. Only she knew that she'd be able to actually fit on it, let alone scoot "ride" on it around the living room. haha

They had color week at preschool and she got to string the most fantastic fruit loop necklace I've ever seen! 

Sharing with her best friend, "llama llama", from the library. ;)

Okay maybe I rallied for one adventure and we bundled up for the MK Nature Center walk on a random day off from school. We even spotted a crawdad in one of the fish observatories!

This picture wasn't recent but one I found the other day while I was cleaning up my text messages and had to share. A librarian took it and sent it to me of Lyla and her favorite puppy they have there. Never seen anything cuter in my life. <3

Remember how I mentioned that it takes a village and all of my people stepped up to help from January to April ... well, the moments that I was most thankful for were the fun memories created for these two while I wasn't the most fun person to be around ... their first sleepover at Sita's house! They packed their suitcases hours before it was actually time to leave ... their faces say it all! They had a magical time eating all of their favorite things, making cute animal craft pillows, watching Frozen, and spending time with one of their favorite people!

I adore celebrating holidays but St. Patrick's Day has never really been one I've gotten behind. Our Liam however, it's one of his favorites. Must have something to do with his obsession with gems and gold?? That and the wild story he so vividly remembers his dad telling him a couple of years ago where Leprechauns flee through portals. haha Anyway, a trap needed to be made again this year. He remembered that the cardboard, plastic, and metal ones we made in the past were not strong enough so he tried a lego one this year. 

In the morning he discovered that sneaky leprechaun transformed his lego trap into a lego robot instead and brought lucky charm rice krispie treats! The lucky charm box he also left behind conveniently had a pack of 3 Pokemon cards in it for someone who was hopeful St. Patrick's Day would be like Christmas and he'd receive a gift. haha No idea where he comes up with this stuff?! A free and beloved Pikachu card to the rescue!

There were lots of jammie days and couch snuggling ...

And at the end of most days when I was beating myself up for not feeling up to playing with them as much or missing going along on their nightly walks with dad I'd peek into their rooms before bed and find this. <3 Sweet dreams my beautiful girl.

Grateful to have made it through those nauseous winter days and to remember the moments that made it worth it. 

New Years 2021

 Can you believe it?! Already 5 months in to 2021!!!

We kicked off the New Year as we usually do, at home with each other. We invited my mom over to celebrate with us, picked up Cafe Rio take out for dinner, watched our last Christmas movie, and did a fake ball drop at 6:30 with our kids. haha We watched a recorded YouTube version of last year's so hopefully that isn't a bad omen being 2020. I got all of us the most obnoxious horn blowers ever and we ran up and down the street making all the noise just before their bedtime at 7. 

With the final days left of the Christmas break our kids learned how to slow dance together (cuties!) ...

 We had one last goodbye dinner with my brother ...

We watched Liam break open a bunch of geodes with quartz inside of them (his Christmas gift from Grandma Edie and Pa!) ...

And we danced the nights away in one big loop around the living room and kitchen to the Greatest Showman soundtrack! Lyla dresses up every time in my old Camp Fire Girl's vest, and when she is not riding "mommy or daddy elephant", she rides her horse and whacks it with that Santa spatula. haha It's hysterical!

2021 is going to be a special year with our big news! ;)

Happy New Year!!!

Baby #3

 Surprise!!!

We couldn't be more excited to be expecting a new baby into our family! Considering I am already halfway through this pregnancy, I thought it was about time to share some updates along with the journey we've been on so far.

If I'm being honest, we didn't come to this decision quickly or lightly. Working through some health trials over the last couple of years, I was always on some form of medication or shot treatment that made it unsafe to get pregnant. We also had our boy and our girl, what more could we ask for?! I just knew in my heart that there was one more baby waiting for us. When the timing finally felt right, we were pregnant a month later! The moment I was able to take a pregnancy test I already knew that sweet baby was joining our family. I think when you put off a decision like that where it was God's will all along, He quickly gave us this baby before we dared change our minds. haha The symptoms came swiftly too ... exhaustion, sore chest, nausea, and acid reflux ... but the comfort they brought along with them knowing that it meant this baby was thriving made me so grateful! 

I remember walking around a Target in early January on a Saturday with my family feeling like absolute death so I grabbed a pregnancy test while we were there. You'd think it was my first time taking one because it took three different grocery store runs to take a test with any kind of result. haha 

I've always taken the tests that have one line for negative or two lines for positive so it was so fun taking one that immediately said "PREGNANT"! That was also the last time these jeans fit ... haha

Telling our kids will go down as one of my all time favorite memories! We wrapped these "big brother" "big sister" books for them to open and had Liam read the cover of both out loud. They still didn't figure it out on their own but they both jumped up and down on the couch with excitement when we said, "Mommy has a baby in her tummy!" They had so much fun telling grandparents, friends, and anyone at the grocery store who would listen, that our family is having another baby! We asked them if they wanted a boy or a girl and Lyla has held to a girl baby while Liam changed from girl to boy now. I think a sister is all he has ever known so the thought of a brother is kind of a crazy concept for him. I know they will be the best big siblings ever and I can't wait for them to feel the baby move. I also get so teary eyed thinking about the moment they'll meet this baby for the first time. Lyla says every day, "I'm having a hard time waiting for my baby." haha <3

It has been hard switching physicians since I delivered my last two babies with one I loved but one of the biggest blessings of being seen in an OB hospital clinic is the many ultrasounds we've had so far! Our first one was only 8 weeks along. Look at this tiny little thing! Hearing that heartbeat for the first time too (155 bpm) made my own heart soar! 

Then again at 9 weeks when we saw the doctor for the first time ... (baby was already doing kicks and squirming around a ton in there!)

And again at 13 weeks ... it was incredible seeing how much the baby grew and changed between doctor visits. 

From week 5 to week 16 I truly felt like I had a terrible case of food poisoning. Everything in the world around me smelled terrible and I ate plain kodiak pancakes for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Some days I'd throw up and the rest I'd just live with debilitating nausea. Survival mode describes it best. I was so grateful to have Nic working from home (he was always coming to my rescue and helping in any way he could from cooking to cleaning our house and everything in between), I truly couldn't have done it without him. I was also rescued many times by family and friends who'd come pick up our kids and keep them entertained while I rested. It takes a village and I'm grateful for mine!

Even when the nausea finally faded at that 16 week mark it was traded for some severe acid reflux. I tried a couple different medications before finding one that has its limits but helps more than the rest. I've had off and on tailbone pain already where my legs will suddenly give out? So weird. One of the biggest struggles this time is lack of sleep. I think I might be getting more when we have a newborn in our house than I am right now honestly. ALL OF IT is worth it though and we can't wait to meet this adorable little person in September!

I felt a few little flutters for the first time at 16 weeks but it was very sporadic after that. It was hard not comparing it to Lyla's pregnancy where I felt her kick at 15 weeks and it was very consistent after that. It added to some anxiety I was working through but we had our anatomy ultrasound last week and it was a giant weight off my shoulders when we learned that baby is healthy and doing so well! As I suspected, I have an anterior placenta this time which is why I haven't felt the baby move consistently up until this point.

We had the sweetest and best ultrasound tech who explained every little detail of what she was looking at. Baby was practically bent in half and facing my spine most of the ultrasound (the position looked so uncomfortable!) and she had to keep bouncing the wand up and down on my stomach to see if she could get some movement to get the pictures she needed. We got to bring home so many cute profile pictures of that little tucked chin and tiny nose! Thanks to a moment of crossed legs and eventually the monitor being turned away, we made it out of there without finding out the gender ... a dream I've had with all of our pregnancies and I'm so excited for that surprise on delivery day!!! Nic joked that he was going to ask her to kick the garbage can for a girl or knock on the door for a boy on her way out of the room. haha He really wanted to know but there is just no way he could keep it from me without accidentally slipping up in some way, I just know it. I'm grateful he is on board with it being a surprise this time! 

Baby is due September 19th making us 21 weeks right now! Trying my best to soak up the time while also being grateful that we are over halfway there. It will be one hot summer! ;) 

Christmas 2020

 I have no words for Christmas morning because is honestly the most magical day of the year!!! Nothing can possibly do it justice than the feeling that buzzes in the air. Liam woke up first. We huddled together on our bedroom floor working on building his lego he had gotten from Uncle Brendan the night before while we waited for Ya Ya to wake up. She did about 45 minutes later and together we all walked down the stairs to find that Santa had come ...

Not only did he come but he brought Liam the beloved blue bird that he was hoping for and a pink big girl bike for Lyla!

I loved watching the two of them get excited for each other! Liam told Lyla what an awesome bike she got and in return, she told him he should put his blue bird in her basket for a ride!

The swelling on Liam's lip that morning was very much still there but it had gone down enough that he showed a few smiles. They were so excited to open their stockings ... Lyla was in that sweet spot this year at age 3 where she would open one thing and want to play with it right then for a while whereas Liam tore through his whole thing in 5 minutes and was ready to open the ones under the tree. 

Santa brought him a Harry Potter ornament for his Christmas tree to remind him of his first year watching Harry Potter for the first time. 

Dad was so excited to get an Apple watch! We both got one actually and I don't know how we lived without them before. The BEST exercise trackers and motivators. I've also loved the convenience of leaving my phone behind on bike rides with the kids to the playground or going into the library. 

How cute is that expression for a few pairs of new socks!! Love her <3

It was also so cute watching her dump the whole thing out rather than reaching for one thing at a time ... she even got all the way down to the orange!

Lots of fun new art supplies for these two who spend so many hours crafting at the kitchen table together ...

We started a tradition a couple years ago where they find a piece of the wrapping paper that all of the presents belonging to them are wrapped in at the bottom of their stockings. They were so excited to find their own under the tree!

Liam's room is FILLED with treasures ... rocks, gems, sticks, small toys, money ... he really needed a special place for all of his favorite things so we gifted him a wooden box with his name engraved on the top that can be locked closed with a special key. He loves it!

Man, she's cute! Building a flower garden ... a gift from Papa and Grandma Dee in Pocatello!

Haha Every present he opened he gave me some face that looked similar to this one. Such an entertainer with the shock and awe! 

I loved watching them open their gifts from each other this year ... Lyla got Liam a Poke ball and mini Pokemon action figures to go with it. His face says it all!

He picked out her very first princess lego so she would have one to play with too ... 

That spelling!

Matching pajamas on Christmas morning with my girl! <3

I love my people so much!!!

Lining up all of her letter popsicles from Grandma Edie and Pa!

And that beloved "small kitchen" from Santa ... the one she asked for just a couple weeks before Christmas and we had no idea what she meant. haha She spent all morning making us bread ...

Building another lego together!

Matching slippers!

Listening to the fun dancing card sing and searching for the candy in Grandma Sue's gift bag from Pocatello!

I made rhodes rolls cinnamon rolls for breakfast (first time trying them and they turned out amazing, definitely a favorite!). We spent a little bit of time cleaning up the endless wrapping paper, boxes, and ribbons strewn about the living room while the kids began opening some of their new favorite toys to play with. I took Lyla out for a test ride on her bike! She couldn't quite figure out the pedals on her own that day but has since completely mastered it and is whizzing around the neighborhood! I have no doubt she'll be riding it without training wheels this summer. She looks so cute on that pink bike and loves bringing along a baby doll, stuffed animal, or "phone" in her basket!

Midmorning we went over to my dad and Edie's for their incredible brunch! Lots of cousin time, amazing food, and more gift exchanges ...

Lyla got a horsey and has become obsessed with riding him around the living room daily to the Greatest Showman soundtrack! It's my favorite thing ever to watch!!

My favorite part of watching everyone open their gifts is seeing their reactions. I don't remember what my niece Ava was opening but she clearly loved it!!

The cutest toddler nephews in all the land ... they were both my buddies on Christmas morning giving me the cheekiest smiles and wanting to sit on my lap! Cute Matthew ...

And this grinning guy is Noah ...

I love the clapping stage!! 

All of the cousins piled on the couch together to take a family picture but Noah and Matthew were beyond tired at this point so it was just the bigger kids ...

Grandma Edie doing her thing and handing out gifts to everyone ...

Later that night my mom and brother came over to open gifts with us too. We were so spoiled on Christmas day by everyone! Lyla got the cutest hat to match mine and her very own suitcase!

We got Uncle Brendan that travel foam roller but Lyla kept stealing it and packing it around. haha

So grateful for the memories we all made together. They are moments we won't forget. I already miss Christmas!!