learning to embrace change

little me as a senior in high school - 2008

Most of my life I have struggled with change.
I hold on to the familiar and tend to turn a cold shoulder to things that I'm not used to.
These feelings however have evolved in the last few years.
I'd say mostly since I graduated from high school and moved away to college on my own.
Maybe it is because that was one of the biggest changes in my life or maybe it is all the changes that have happened since.
I'm realizing how much can change in just a few months let alone an entire year.
I have embraced changes in my life with open arms more than I ever have recently and while some of them are harder than others, all of them have always been for the best, really good for me even.

*****

I think the hardest change that I am still trying to learn is the change that occurs between two people when they live far away from each other.
Some people say distance makes the heart grow fonder.
To be honest, I'm not sure I really believe in that.
Maybe distance makes the heart grow weary would be a better way to put.
With family it is completely different.
Even when we are all living so far apart, when we do see each other again, no matter how much time has gone by, things seem to pick up right where they left off.
It doesn't seem to put such a strain on family bonds but with friends it is a different story.
It takes a lot of effort and communication to keep a friendship alive, at least in my experience it does.
Even when you do that, sometimes it isn't enough.

*****

I'm learning that some people grow apart when they aren't together in the same place at the same time.
Sometimes it isn't only the distance that seems to separate but also the different stages of life you are in.
I love the stage of my life that I am in right now -
Newly married and finishing my college degree.
But this stage doesn't always mesh with friends who are single or friends who have babies and while I know this is the exact stage I meant to be in and is perfect for Nic and I, it still hard knowing there is something separating me from them, especially friends who are single.

*****

If I haven't already lost you yet haha, what I'm getting at is that in the midst of all of this,
I've also learned that it is okay for relationships to change,
for friendships to grow apart a little bit.
Because hopefully, if it is meant to be, something in your life will bring you back together, perhaps finally being back in the same stage of life someday.
And maybe, just maybe, it will feel like time never went by.
I'm learning to embrace the changes in my life with open arms.
They make me stronger!
So far it has left me the happiest I have ever been and nothing is better than that.

memorial day weekend

What a wonderful weekend we've had! Since Nic had both Friday and Monday off {a very rare occasion} we decided to go away for the weekend to Boise. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday were pretty rainy so we went birthday shopping and saw a couple movies. The never realized how gigantic the Boise Mall really is until I compared it to Pocatello's five stores. We saw What to Expect When You're Expecting. If you haven't seen it yet, go right this instant. It is seriously hilarious! It made me a little apprehensive about childbirth though, that is for sure haha. The other movie we saw was The Lucky One. I had read the book before so I knew what was going to happen but I still loved it, total tear-jerker. We had dinner at P.F. Chang's on Friday night which was incredible. The rest of the time was spent going on bike rides, playing Skipbo, and having a lot of laughs.

Monday was absolutely gorgeous. In the morning we went on a hike which happened to be right next to the Veteran's Cemetery. They were having a Memorial Day Ceremony which we got to see from a distance. Cannons were fired, fighter planes soared overhead, and I realized I had never been more thankful on Memorial Day than this one. It has taken on a whole new meaning for me ever since my brother has been at the Naval Academy. I am so thankful for all the men that have served in this country and those who gave their lives for the freedoms I have today. I realized that it touches even closer to home for me when my own brother is serving.

Hope you all had a wonderful Memorial Day! :)

Proud Big Sister

I've said it here before but I'll say it again, I'm pretty proud of my little brother. 

I never imagined we would live so far apart from each other but I'm so glad he lives where he does.

{He goes to the Naval Academy in Annapolis, Maryland} 

Going to the Academy has opened up his world to some pretty incredible life experiences and last week was one of those. He was chosen out of many students at the Academy who applied to go on this trip to Abu Dhabi and Dubai in the Middle East.

Like I said, proud big sister. He is incredibly smart.

While I don't know a lot of the stories behind these pictures from his trip, I thought I would share them {especially for family} who may not have Facebook

This was his tour guide, also known as "the man". 

Basically they became best friends.

the caption he had with this picture was "I breathe fire" - he's goofy 

They got to ride camels in the desert and this was his "pet camel named Ted".

Looks like an incredible experience to me and I'm so glad he got to go.

Can't wait to hear all about it when he comes home next week!

Wish I could have fit in his suitcase for this one ;) 

 

Tuxedo Brownie Cups - A Recipe

:: you will need ::

{for brownies}

a  box of fudge brownie mix

don't forget to look on the back of the box for all ingredients

{for frosting}

2 T milk

2 squares white baking chocolate

1/2 c powdered sugar

1 package cream cheese softened

1/4 c thawed whipped topping

{for toppings}

semi-sweet chocolate chips

raspberries or strawberries

:: directions ::

{for brownies}

preheat oven to 350 degrees

make brownies according to box

spray muffin tin - fill 3/4 full

cooks 20-25 min.

press tops down with spoon after baking

{for frosting}

microwave white baking chocolate squares and milk for 1 minute - let cool

combine cream cheese and powdered sugar

gradually stir in white chocolate and milk mix

fold in whipped topping

{for toppings}

spread the cream cheese frosting on top of the brownies as desired

add berries

melt semi-sweet chocolate chips

pour into a plastic sandwich baggie and cut one of the corners to drizzle over the top

Seriously, heaven.

Now go put on your apron and make some why don'tcha!

Our First Anniversary

Nic will be the first to attest that I am a hard person to surprise.
I get all inquisitive (not intentionally) and come close to ruining surprises on several occasions.
His surprise plans for yesterday were no different but, he got me good.
I should have known, he is Mr. Romantic after all, but I'm so glad I didn't.

I had gently reminded him for several days - "Don't forget to take off our Anniversary on Monday!"
The man has a hundred bazillion vacation hours (okay, more like 120 but my exaggeration is justifiable) and he never takes a day off.
While I'm thankful for how hard he works, spending an anniversary at home all day alone did not sound appealing to me.

Well Friday evening rolls around - "So... did you take off Monday."
with a don't kill me expression - "Uhhh no?"
Then he proceeded to go into a long-winded explanation of how he would try to get off a little early but that it was going to be a crazy week at work and he just couldn't leave his clinic.

I was bummed.

So bummed in fact that I felt the need to mention it to my mother-in-law at dinner on Friday night. I thought that she of any person, should be able to talk some sense into her son.
She gave him the "I'm disappointed in you look" which was convincing enough for me.
Little did I know she was in on the surprise. That woman is a good actress!
In the middle of dinner she brings up yard work on Saturday that Nic has apparently agreed to helping her with. It was news to me.

Saturday morning I persistently tried to convince him to let me come along.
Usually when he does yard work for her I have homework but this time I was free as a bird.
After A LOT of pushy convincing for me to stay, off he went.
Little did I know he wasn't helping her with yard work at all, he was preparing for Monday.

Monday morning his alarm clock went off like usual at 6:30. He got up and showered.
Usually he doesn't leave until 7:30 but after noticing how quiet the apartment was, I knew he was already gone. On our dresser I noticed his phone holder which he doesn't usually leave without so I texted him.

M :: did you leave for work early? You forgot your phone case holder. 
then I get this response... 
N :: me? Never :) 

For the slightest moment I thought he might be running and coming back. Maybe for breakfast? He HAD to be up to something. And man was I surprised.
Our day went something like this...

Breakfast in bed.

A bouquet of the most beautiful red roses.

{then we fell back asleep for a couple hours}

We spent the afternoon having a picnic.

deli sandwiches, watermelon, and cheez-its

The rest of the time we spent laying on a newly discovered "beach" in Blackfoot, soaking up some vitamin D, occasionally dipping our feet in water, and playing a game of scrabble.

We had a romantic candle lit dinner - cheese tortellini and cesar salad.

 Tuxedo Brownie Cups I made for dessert, heaven in every single bite. 

{sharing the recipe tomorrow}

Our kind of "romantic" movie.

There may have been a couple more love coupons BUT, lets just leave it at that and keep it PG.

The day was just about as romantic as they come.

Happy First Anniversary Mr. Williamson.

To many more.  

one year.

May 21, 2012

Nic, 

One year ago today I kneeled across an alter from you and knew in my heart at that moment that I could never love another person more than I loved you.

I never imagined that love could grow any stronger, but it has, every single day.

You make me so happy.

Thank you for today, it was perfect.

I love you.

xo - your wife

Firsts are pretty great but seconds are even better

first picture we ever took together - a couple weeks after we started dating

To me, firsts are really special.
With our first anniversary coming up in a few days, I've been thinking a lot about the firsts we have shared in all of the time we have been together.

And the firsts we've shared just in the last year...

Our first vacation together, the best getaway I have ever been on, our honeymoon. It was everything I imagined a honeymoon to be. The beautiful beach, that coconut crab chowder that was to die for, the jet skiing with my arms wrapped tightly around his waist, soaring through the St. Lucia trees zip lining, the tropical fruits and flowers we had both never seen before, the Tangled lantern that made it seemed like we were living a fairy tale, and my favorite of all, the late night walks on the beach with the man of my dreams, his hand in mine. In 10, 20, maybe even 30 years from now, I hope we go back there and experience it all over again.

Our first apartment together. After searching hopelessly around this town for weeks with the wedding day quickly approaching, we did so many walk-throughs, every one of which left us feeling completely disappointed. Then, when the two week mark hit, one opened up and for that brief 10 second walk through we did on our lunch hours, it was going to have to be "good enough". Despite the clutter everywhere in this apartment during our walk through, at least it didn't smell like smoke, pee, etc. As we slid the key in the door for the first time I was a little nervous what it might really look like even after people moved out. I couldn't remember anything about it but when we walk in it felt as if it was meant to be and well, this place has turned out perfect for us.

Our first holidays as a married couple. Buying our first Christmas tree (granted it was only 3 feet tall) and decorating our apartment for every other holiday. I'm pretty sure Valentines Day takes the cake for me. :)

Our first year of marriage in general. It has been special and I'll cherish every single memory we have made during it.

But while thinking about how great all of our "firsts" have been, what I've come to realize is that the second, third, and even fourth times are even better.
Like second kisses, second chances, the second vacation, and the second year of holidays. Even the second home we will make together someday.

So here's to seconds, my love.
Most of all, here's to a second year of marriage.
and a third
and a fourth...
May they be even better than the first. 


xo

frisbee golf also known as frolfing

Before meeting Nic I had never played frisbee golf and lets be honest, that picture right up there ^ proves that I look pretty ridiculous doing it. I'm not even kidding, that picture wasn't posed. But that is beside the point, it is still fun even if it takes oh, 15 throws for me to every one of Nic's. It is a good thing that man has the patience of a saint. Can't think of a better way to spend a summer evening!

life without a schedule

via

After a long 9 months of school, I am happy to say, it feels great to be done. I've spent the last few days doing almost nothing but enjoying time to relax, sleep in, and remain completely stress free, three words of which were not in my life about a week ago. Besides relaxing, we also did some "spring cleaning" which I had been meaning to do for months now and ended up taking 8 bags of stuff to the DI. Our motto was, if we haven't worn it in the last year, get rid of it. Needless to say, I parted with half my wardrobe.

I was at the grocery store yesterday picking up a few things and as I was checking out, the man helping me asked, "So, what are you doing with your day?" I'm pretty sure he looked at me like I was completely crazy when I simply grinned and said, "Absolutely nothing." Then he proceeded to ask me if I was taking summer school (to which I replied a big fat NO), and if I was working (no to that too). I think at this point he thought I must be a pretty slothful person. Little did he know, the crazy amounts of credits, work, and sleepless nights I had just endured. Nothing was going to stop me from feeling pretty great that I had nothing to do.

Now that the weekend is behind me, Nic is back to work, and I've had time to relax, I'm realizing that I do not do well without a day jam packed until midnight. What am I going to with myself? So I woke up this morning and made a daily schedule that looks something like this:
7:30 - wake up and have breakfast with Nic before work 
8:00-9:00 - read the scriptures 
9:00-10:00 - work out 
get ready for the day 
11:00-12:00 - practice piano 
12:00-2:00 - study for my Praxis exam 
2:00-3:00 - do some reading, sewing, blogging, etc. 

 ................................ well, at least I made it to 3.

I'm not saying every day will be like this, but we'll just see how it goes for a few days. I just have come to realize that my life has been so structured the last 9 months that I don't know what to do with myself if I don't re-structure it for the summer. I am in no way complaining about the time I have, so grateful actually. I'm just learning I need to use it wisely.

I'm hoping this summer will also involve...
* a happy first anniversary
** our first camping trip together
*** a few trips to Boise and a trip to the cabin
**** more lunch dates with one of my best friends I have made at school
**** and a whole lot of time outside soaking up the summer rays
It is going to be a great one, I can feel it.