one month | letter to Lyla

Lyla turned one month old on Sunday! It has definitely been the fastest and best month of our lives!! 

A little bit about our Lyla girl at one month old ...

| L O V E S |

Nursing.

Being held.

The Solly Baby Wrap and falls fast asleep the moment I put her in it.

Her binkie 90% of the time.

| H A T E S | 

Makes diaper changes absolutely impossible with those scrunched up frog legs of hers.

Pooping. She grunts and grunts and gets herself all worked up over it.

Tummy time.

| D E V E L O P M E N T // G R O W T H |

Weighed 8 pounds 7.5 ounces at her first doctor visit at 5 days old and 9 pounds 1 ounce at 2 weeks old. 

Already grew out of newborn diapers (on to size 1) and most newborn clothes (now 0-3 months).
Genuinely smiled for the first time a few days ago and it completely melted my heart!!!

Seriously has the strongest neck I've ever seen in a newborn!

Her eyes look like they are beginning to turn blue.

Has long feet.

Still has a head full of dark hair that looks like it might avoid the bald patch in the back stage.

Lost her umbilical cord on day 9.

Had her first bath this month and didn't love it but has since grown to enjoy it.
Developed eczema on her face (poor girl).

| S L E E P |

The first night we brought Lyla home she slept in everyones' arms all day and evening long and then partied from 9 until 2:30 in the morning. That's when I knew she was going to have her days and nights mixed up. The next couple days after that we kept her up for periods of time during the day and now she typically sleeps 2 to 3 hour stretches during the night. 

Sleeps best when swaddled but fights it if she is awake even a little bit.

Whenever not swaddled, sleeps with her arms above her head or up by her face.

| E A T |

Girlfriend can EAT and loves to nurse!! 
My colostrum was supplemented with formula while she was in the NICU but since then, she is almost exclusively breastfed with an occasional bottle every few days. 

Her eyes are bigger than her stomach (or she just wants to be soothed) and ends up spitting up half of what she ate.

Gets the hiccups almost every feeding just like she did while I was pregnant. 

Lyla girl,
It seems like just yesterday your dad and I were in a quiet hospital room together writing you a letter in the early hours of the morning and anxiously awaiting your arrival. There is nothing quite like the special moment when you meet your child and get to hold them in your arms for the first time and while that moment for us was a scary one, I'll never forget that feeling in my heart when it grew ten sizes bigger and made you the biggest part of my world alongside your dad and big brother. I've always dreamt of having a daughter and will never forget the day when we were making a reveal video to share with our friends and family to announce that your brother was a boy. We had a pink and blue lantern that we sent up into the sky and while at the time I was completely overjoyed to be welcoming a boy into our family, I also sent that tiny pink lantern up to heaven with a silent prayer that one day we would be blessed with you. I couldn't be more thankful that dream came true because you are the perfect fit for our family. Liam absolutely adores you! You're his "Yaya". I know he'll always be there for you because even now, at only three years old, he runs to your side whenever you are sad and comforts you with your binkie while holding your hand. I can't begin to tell you how grateful I am for that special bond you already share! I also see another special type of bond you have with dad. When we went to visit you in the NICU for the first time after you were born, he started whispering to you and your eyes fluttered open and looked around the room for him. You recognized his voice right away, just like you used to do with your strongest kicks when you were in my tummy. I'll never forget when he leaned over to me and said he thought we should name you Lyla. He knew deep down that it was always my favorite name for you. When you closed your tiny hand over my finger you completely captured my heart and I've never been the same since. We love you so much and that love only grows stronger every single day. Happy one month baby girl!

Love, Momma


 | O N E   M O N T H   P I C T U R E S |

Visiting her in the NICU ...

Lyla's first day at home ...

Lots of grandparents came to visit ...

Two day doctor visit ...

Right after her umbilical cord fell off (that thing smelled terrible!) and was replaced with a cute belly button ...

Two weeks old ...

Two week doctor's visit ...

Our first week without dad after he went back to work ...

Our first picture as a family of FOUR ...

Lyla's first smile, be still my heart ...

The sweetest moment and a testament of Liam's love for her when he covered her up with all of HIS blankets and his "meow" (favorite bunny that he doesn't let leave his side) ...

Lyla's first adventure, the pumpkin patch ...

Sweetest one month old bundle ...

Life Lately with TWO kids

If there is one thing I've learned about life with two kids it is that I need to lower my expectations and offer myself a whole lot of grace. Like expecting to be able to clean my whole house in one day like I used to or expecting to have everyone ready and get out the door in 15 minutes (plan on an hour!). I will be honest and say that it has been a heck of a lot harder than I anticipated it to be. Mostly I had a really hard time when Nic went back to work ...

My second day alone with the two of them, Liam had preschool and I barely held it together when I had to leave the house with Lyla to pick him up. Chalk it up to hormones or who knows what but it was incredibly overwhelming for me to be surrounded by a million preschool moms asking me how I was doing and very chaotic trying to carry Lyla's car seat, get Liam's shoes and backpack on, and everyone strapped back into the car in the freezing cold. The entire time I just wanted to get out of there so so badly and was barely holding back tears. Two days later when I had to do it all over again, I got a text 15 minutes before I was supposed to pick Liam up that he had an accident and peed his pants at preschool. Normally I would have been able to drop everything and be over there in 2 minutes (it is two streets away) but with a brand new baby, I had to get her dressed, strapped in her car seat, carried to the car, grab a change of clothes for Liam, and drive over there. The whole process took about 15 minutes and it felt like the longest and most terrible 15 minutes of my parenting life. While Liam didn't seem that phased, I got there and still felt terrible that he was sitting in the corner of the room wrapped in a towel just waiting for me. I beat myself up the rest of the day for not having a spare set of clothes in his backpack. See what I mean, a whole lot of grace I need to be giving myself right now! Fast forward to the next week and this week ... now I really enjoy preschool days! They are my two mornings during the week that I get alone time to bond with Lyla and hold her as much as I want. ;) I also get an uninterrupted shower and Liam is learning 10 new words a day because of it I swear!

When Nic is home with us, we have a bit more of a stable groove. Nic plays with Liam while I cook dinner, I nurse Lyla while Nic reads Liam stories and tucks him into bed. We're able to share parenthood. 

One more story of chaos ... yesterday at lunch time Lyla was sleeping and Liam wanted to paint so I got him all set up at the kitchen table and finally got the opportunity to heat up my lunch, sit down, and eat it. Two bites in Lyla woke up screaming to be fed so I brought her over to the kitchen table and began nursing her while I ate my next couple bites. Then Liam decided he was done painting but was covered and trying to hop down from the table to head to the living room so I abandoned my lunch completely, put Lyla down after only nursing on one side and brought Liam over to the kitchen sink to be cleaned up. Lyla started screaming again and then Liam decided he wanted a snack and a show. I get him all set up and go back to nursing Lyla on the other side. By then, my lunch was completely cold and no longer edible. haha That was all in a matter of 10 minutes of our day! In other words, life with two is crazy! :)

But when Nic is home with us, we have bit more of a stable groove! Nic plays with Liam while I cook dinner, I nurse Lyla while Nic reads Liam bed time stories, and Nic stays home until 8:30 or 9 so I can get an extra hour of sleep in the mornings.

Life with two kids is bound to bring out a little jealousy in all of us. There are only two things about having a baby sister that make Liam jealous ... lack of attention and ALL of her things. Like this headband for example ... haha ;)

And if you had any doubt about our kids looking alike ...

Liam on the left, Lyla on the right!

I am working on a lesson that I will be teaching the women in my church in October and it is all about filling our buckets with sunshine and positivity. Rather than focusing on where we fall short as moms/wives/daughters of God, focusing on our personal successes no matter how small throughout the day and then recognizing that when we do fall short, the Savior makes up the difference through the Atonement. It is because of having two kids and feeling far too many feelings of inadequacy over the last couple weeks that I felt inspired to share this message. I think it is something we could all do a little better at in our lives. So if you are having a day, a week, a month where you simply feel like you are falling short more than you are succeeding, look for the bits of sunshine in your life and most of all, know that you have a Savior who loves you so much that he gave his life for you. XO

you

If you read this post or know our Liam in real life, you know that he has taken his time to develop language. He knows and comprehends SO much more than he actually verbalizes but his vocabulary is growing more and more every day. In fact, it has completely exploded in the last few weeks and every day he says a handful of new words or is finally mimicking new words and I had to share my favorite one yet ...

YOU.

That's what Liam calls himself. I mean, it makes sense when you think about the fact that we ask him things like, "What would YOU like for breakfast?" or "How did YOU sleep?" or "Do YOU want to go to the park?". He knows his name is Liam but it has been so cute and hilarious to hear him call himself you. A few examples of why ...


When reaching in to his snack cup to grab a goldfish cracker ... "No, Mom! YOU'S num nums!!"
(Does that remind anyone else of "Joey doesn't share food!" on a certain favorite T.V. show? ;)

Whenever he invites someone into his room ... shoves the door wide open, jumps inside with his arms in the air and shouts "YOU'S dadadada!" As if he hasn't been more proud to show you anything else in the entire world.
(dada dada by the way is the easiest sound for him to make so he says a string of it as a filler for a word he can't quite say yet like room)

When another little boy came up to him on the playground the other day, the little boy said "Hi! My name is Gavin." Liam said ... "Hi! YOU!" (pointing to himself)

When getting home from preschool this morning, he fell down at the top of our garage stairs. I asked him if he was okay and he said, "Yes, Mom mom. Da da' s shoes YOU fall!"
(He tripped over Nic's running shoes. haha)


See what I mean!! I need to capture it on video before he finally starts to say his own name because it is the cutest most hilarious thing ever!

And not entirely related to this post but a few pictures from earlier today of this sweet big brother painting a picture for his baby sister while I painted some letters of her name for her nursery ...

becoming a big brother

In the days leading up to Lyla's birth people would ask Nic and I all the time how we thought Liam would do becoming a big brother and we never really knew how to answer that question. Mostly because at 2 1/2 to 3 years old we weren't even sure he fully understood the concept of a sibling coming into his world. And if this gives you any kind of perspective ... any time we talked about his baby sister he would point to my tummy, lift up my shirt, and try peaking in my belly button to see if he could see her. haha The concept to him was pretty vague. 

Our last picture together as a family of three ...

Next to meeting Lyla for the first time, there was nothing we anticipated more than having Liam come to the hospital and meet his baby sister. He had a blanket all wrapped up for her (a gift we thought would be a good idea from him considering his obsession with blankets and claiming all of them no matter who they belong to. Probably wishful thinking on our parts but maybe then with this one, he would be able to separate as hers only.) She had a gift for him too ... A big brother book and his very own camera so he could take pictures of her. When Lyla had to go to the NICU we knew the opportunity for them to meet in the hospital was not going to happen. So this part waited.

It was hard on all three of us (Nic, Liam, and I) to be away from each other. We had only left Liam over night once before and we all just missed each other so much. Even though he couldn't meet his sister, Liam has seen me in the hospital a few times before and has never acted concerned so we had my mom bring him anyway just so we could spend some time with him between one of Lyla's feedings. I can't tell you how much joy it brought my heart having him with me again! 

Fast forward to bringing Lyla home ... It was 3 days after she was born and we walked in the door during Liam's nap time. We anxiously waited for him to wake up. we couldn't wait to see him! We set our expectations low knowing that when Liam wakes up from his nap he is usually not in the best mood. Nic heard him leaving his room and greeted him in the hallway. He was SO excited to see "da da"! Nic held his hand and walked with him into the living room where I was sitting with Lyla in my arms and he came running to me! He laid his head in my lap and took a minute to wake up. When he finally lifted his head we reminded him about how we had been talking for months about his baby sister and said "this is her, this is your baby sister." At first he ran to Nic and said, "no". haha But then as he started to warm up he lifted his head once more and peaked over at her. We told him that her name was Lyla and that she had brought him a gift. He squealed with excitement and sat patiently beside us as he opened is new camera from his baby sister. Then while Nic went to get the camera out of the box, Liam turned to me and asked, "hold Yaya?" (Besides mom and da da he had never said another person's name but he said hers after only hearing it twice). A smile spread across my face and my eyes welled with tears as I placed her in his arms and they met for the very first time. He has wanted to "hold Yaya" every day since.

I won't sugar coat that the transition to sharing our attention has not been perfectly easy for him. When he does get frustrated that the attention is not on him, he takes it out on Nic and I instead of on her which I'm grateful for. Despite occasional jealousy, for the most part becoming a big brother for Liam has meant running to her side and holding her hand whenever he hears Lyla cry (saying "Yaya's sad!), helping her find her binkie again if she happens to spit it out, and being the first person he says "hi" (good morning) and "bye" (good night) to every single day. Now when someone comes up to us and asks how Liam is doing with becoming a big brother, we say that he has shown us it is exactly what he has always meant to be and is incredible at it. 

Watching these two grow up together is going to be our best adventure and greatest gift, I just know it!