Life Lately with TWO kids

If there is one thing I've learned about life with two kids it is that I need to lower my expectations and offer myself a whole lot of grace. Like expecting to be able to clean my whole house in one day like I used to or expecting to have everyone ready and get out the door in 15 minutes (plan on an hour!). I will be honest and say that it has been a heck of a lot harder than I anticipated it to be. Mostly I had a really hard time when Nic went back to work ...

My second day alone with the two of them, Liam had preschool and I barely held it together when I had to leave the house with Lyla to pick him up. Chalk it up to hormones or who knows what but it was incredibly overwhelming for me to be surrounded by a million preschool moms asking me how I was doing and very chaotic trying to carry Lyla's car seat, get Liam's shoes and backpack on, and everyone strapped back into the car in the freezing cold. The entire time I just wanted to get out of there so so badly and was barely holding back tears. Two days later when I had to do it all over again, I got a text 15 minutes before I was supposed to pick Liam up that he had an accident and peed his pants at preschool. Normally I would have been able to drop everything and be over there in 2 minutes (it is two streets away) but with a brand new baby, I had to get her dressed, strapped in her car seat, carried to the car, grab a change of clothes for Liam, and drive over there. The whole process took about 15 minutes and it felt like the longest and most terrible 15 minutes of my parenting life. While Liam didn't seem that phased, I got there and still felt terrible that he was sitting in the corner of the room wrapped in a towel just waiting for me. I beat myself up the rest of the day for not having a spare set of clothes in his backpack. See what I mean, a whole lot of grace I need to be giving myself right now! Fast forward to the next week and this week ... now I really enjoy preschool days! They are my two mornings during the week that I get alone time to bond with Lyla and hold her as much as I want. ;) I also get an uninterrupted shower and Liam is learning 10 new words a day because of it I swear!

When Nic is home with us, we have a bit more of a stable groove. Nic plays with Liam while I cook dinner, I nurse Lyla while Nic reads Liam stories and tucks him into bed. We're able to share parenthood. 

One more story of chaos ... yesterday at lunch time Lyla was sleeping and Liam wanted to paint so I got him all set up at the kitchen table and finally got the opportunity to heat up my lunch, sit down, and eat it. Two bites in Lyla woke up screaming to be fed so I brought her over to the kitchen table and began nursing her while I ate my next couple bites. Then Liam decided he was done painting but was covered and trying to hop down from the table to head to the living room so I abandoned my lunch completely, put Lyla down after only nursing on one side and brought Liam over to the kitchen sink to be cleaned up. Lyla started screaming again and then Liam decided he wanted a snack and a show. I get him all set up and go back to nursing Lyla on the other side. By then, my lunch was completely cold and no longer edible. haha That was all in a matter of 10 minutes of our day! In other words, life with two is crazy! :)

But when Nic is home with us, we have bit more of a stable groove! Nic plays with Liam while I cook dinner, I nurse Lyla while Nic reads Liam bed time stories, and Nic stays home until 8:30 or 9 so I can get an extra hour of sleep in the mornings.

Life with two kids is bound to bring out a little jealousy in all of us. There are only two things about having a baby sister that make Liam jealous ... lack of attention and ALL of her things. Like this headband for example ... haha ;)

And if you had any doubt about our kids looking alike ...

Liam on the left, Lyla on the right!

I am working on a lesson that I will be teaching the women in my church in October and it is all about filling our buckets with sunshine and positivity. Rather than focusing on where we fall short as moms/wives/daughters of God, focusing on our personal successes no matter how small throughout the day and then recognizing that when we do fall short, the Savior makes up the difference through the Atonement. It is because of having two kids and feeling far too many feelings of inadequacy over the last couple weeks that I felt inspired to share this message. I think it is something we could all do a little better at in our lives. So if you are having a day, a week, a month where you simply feel like you are falling short more than you are succeeding, look for the bits of sunshine in your life and most of all, know that you have a Savior who loves you so much that he gave his life for you. XO