the first trimester

I can't tell you how happy I am to be 14 weeks today and welcoming the second trimester with open arms! Being on the other side of the first trimester, it seems easier to say that this pregnancy feels like it is going by quickly so far but if you would have asked me that a few weeks ago I would have had a very different answer. For the sake of truly documenting this journey I need to go back several months ... 11 to be exact. 

The Journey to Another Baby ... 

Last April we were beginning to feel ready to grow our family again. We had anticipated to start trying in May but due to a neck injury that landed me in the ER in April, it was important that I finished my physical therapy and got my body to a healthy place where I no longer needed to rely on any form of pain medication. June was that time. My body was healed and our hearts were ready. Without getting too specific (haha), it only took us one time to conceive Liam. With that being said, our expectations were that we would get pregnant again very quickly. As you can tell by the fact that I am only a few months along right now, that wasn't the case after all. Because many of those days, months, and weeks in-between held some of the darkest times in our lives and some that we hold very close, I feel it is important to keep that piece of the story to ourselves. Instead I want to jump ahead to December ... I remember early on that month just falling to my knees in prayer. Truly all I wanted for Christmas this year was to find out that we were expecting and that the baby was growing healthy strong. A couple weeks before Christmas that dreaded time of the month hit, my heart sunk and with it, the idea of a baby being part of my Christmas gift. I still enjoyed every second of the holidays with my two favorite boys by my side and went into the new year hopeful. 

Finding Out ...

Just a few short weeks after Christmas on the morning of January 15th I learned that my Christmas wish did in fact come true! I was a week late and dreading taking a test simply because I had been "late" before with signs that I felt like I was pregnant only to discover I was wrong with another single line staring back at me. But I couldn't sleep and I tossed and turned all night long until finally giving in during the early hours of the morning. I quietly closed the bathroom door behind me in hopes not to wake my sleeping husband. I set this timer and waited for what always feels like an absolute eternity ...

THREE WHOLE MINUTES of pure torture! I spent those moments praying for peace no matter the outcome held while simultaneously shaking with nerves. Then I looked ...

SO much joy filled my heart and the biggest grin spread across my face when I realized we had gotten pregnant at Christmas time!! I quietly crept back to bed and spent the next couple hours in an equal amount of torture waiting for my sweet husband to wake up so I could tell him the news! When he finally did, I whispered the words I had waited hours to share, "Guess what?! We're pregnant!" With the biggest smile on his face and joy filling both of our hearts he said, "We did it!" and hugged me for a long time. It was one of the greatest moments of my life!

How I've Been Feeling ...

Besides the very sore boobs that I did not experience with Liam, I had one blissful week of feeling completely normal after I found out I was pregnant before the downhill spiral began. haha At 6 weeks the nausea started and lasted 24 hours a day. SO much different and SO much worse than my pregnancy with Liam. My stomach was in knots, I couldn't sleep, and 99% of foods and smells made me sick. I dry heaved constantly (honestly wishing to throw up in hopes that it would make me feel better, even if it was only for a brief moment, but never did). I joked with Nic several times that I would much rather go through labor than this nauseous period because with labor it is one day of your life with an end in sight but with this nausea it was constant and I had no idea how long it would last. My doctor put me on medications for both nausea and acid reflux. With the nausea medication came a whole host of other side effects (headaches, drowsiness, and constipation). Needless to say, weeks 6 - 12 were a FUN time. I honestly spent them on our couch in the fetal position while Liam and I watched a whole lot of Netflix. Even in the midst of all of that though, what I was feeling the most was so so grateful and blessed! I knew that feeling sick meant that there was likely a healthy baby growing away!! The last two weeks the nausea has began to subside. I expected the nausea to be gone the moment I hit 12 weeks like it did with Liam but I knew with how bad it was this time that it likely wouldn't be the case. While it isn't completely gone it is much more manageable. In fact, I was able to survive off the medication the last couple of days which means no more side effects! My energy is beginning to come back and I am able to eat more things. Still no peanut butter though (which was a daily staple in my diet before)!

What I've Been Surprised By ... 

How all around different this pregnancy has been than my pregnancy with Liam! Everyone jokes that it must mean it's a girl but my doctor confirmed that not only is every pregnancy different but also harder on my body than the last! haha Thanks Dr. B for that great news! ;) The gender doesn't matter to us, we would be so happy with either! Something else I've been surprised by ... I've heard a million times but didn't quite believe without experiencing it myself is how much quicker I'm showing this pregnancy than I did with Liam. My 8 week bump this time was about the size of my 15 week bump with Liam. haha Thankyouverymuch over achieving uterus!

Best Moment So Far ...

Two weeks ago we had our very first doctor's appointment and heard baby's heartbeat for the first time. The anticipation of that moment was what got me through those hard weeks and it was worth every second of the wait! 156 beats per minute and the BEST sound in the whole world!!!

Can't wait to share this journey and more bumpdates in the weeks to come! XO