First Time

There is A LOT I don't miss about being single but I think what I don't miss the most is being alone. It may sound ridiculous and sometimes it sounds even silly to say but I'm terrified of being home alone.

Tonight was the first night I spent alone since Nic and I got married and my evening went something like this....

I got off work and drove home in the typical 5:00 traffic.
Luckily I only live about 10 minutes away from where I work so it doesn't really take long to get home.
When I got there, I got a brief hello/goodbye kiss, a "how do I look" for my important business dinner tonight, a "what would I do without you" (after noticing a button was undone), and an "I love you" before the door shut behind him and he was gone.
I immediately felt disappointed that his work thing didn't involve spouses but I tried to ignore the feeling and went to cook dinner instead.
After cutting too much lettuce and too many carrots I remembered it was just me who would be eating at our little kitchen table tonight.
The kitchen had never seemed more silent.
As I'm eating away I'm thinking to myself, "Wow, do I really chew this loud?? I might need to work on this!" and then I remember, I'm the only noise in the whole room and I don't feel so bad anymore.
After I did the dishes I thought to myself, man that was a lot of work for just one person.
I couldn't stand the silence a second longer so I called my mom and talked to her until it was time to leave to do some visits for my church.
At the visits I chatted and chatted (something I'm really good at by the way) but also because I wanted to prolong it as long as I possible in hopes that I would find my hubby's car right next to mine when I got home.
I was sorely disappointed because I came back to not only a silent empty house but a DARK one.
Yes, I am a 21 year old woman afraid of the DARK. I admit it.
It is a HUGE fear of mine.
I hate being in the dark when I'm even with someone but when I'm alone, it is a hundred times worse.
What is probably a "normal" noise that I hear every day suddenly becomes this horrifying sound attached to something lurking in the darkness that is out get ME.
Man, it sounds silly when I write it down...

Lets just say,
I don't miss being single.
I don't miss coming home alone at night.
I know there is a FIRST for everything, but I hope this was also a LAST!


It was music to my ears when I heard, "Moo Moo, I'm HOME!"
...and he bursts through the door with this innocent smile that melts my heart every time, a plate of brownies, and roses.
Sorry ladies, this knight in shining armor is all mine :)