The best and hardest thing I've ever done is being their mother. The way they wrap their arms around my neck before I tuck them into bed, the way they giggle when I make silly sounds or faces in their direction, the way they teach me to look at the world as if I'm seeing it for the very first time, the way they say 'da da' reminding me that choosing Nic as their dad was without a doubt my best decision I've ever made in my life, the way they make firsts and holidays completely magical, the way they teach me to be patient, the way they show love without saying anything at all, the way their dreams dance across their face as they peacefully sleep, the way they hold my heart in the palm of their hand, the way they fill me with joy, the way they challenge me and change me .... every moment with them has captivated my soul.
I've never felt more fulfilled than being their mom.
Mother's Day with two babies this year was everything I imagined it to be. I was reminded on several occasions throughout the day why it is as I said before, the BEST and HARDEST thing I've ever done. There was no sleeping but a redemptive nap in the afternoon. There were tantrums, patience constantly tested in the church hallways but there were 'I'm sorrys' to follow.
All three of them made the day special and one to remember for me. I was gifted my very first hanging baskets and my two handy men hung them on our porch for me. The moment Nic picked up his drill, Liam went searching for his own to which I took some of the sweetest dad/son pictures ever ...
We constantly have to remind ourselves that Liam is at a stage in life where he watches and mimics our every move. There is nothing I love more than sitting back and seeing him bond in this way ...
He's such an amazing little helper ...
I don't naturally have a green thumb so I am praying with all my might that I'll remember to water these flowers and hopefully watch them flourish and bloom all summer long! Aren't they beautiful?!
I love my kids so so much!
My first Mother's Day with a daughter!
Along with spending the day with these two, I have to mention that my favorite gift of all was a sweet little butterfly, made out of Liam's handprints that he brought home for me from preschool.
We went to church together in the mornings and all took naps in the afternoon. In the evening we watched The Greatest Showman for the first time and all loved it as we danced together around the living room! We had a picnic dinner on the floor and it was a night I'll always remember. A simple and sweet Mother's Day.
Nic always makes me feel absolutely cherished as a wife and mother. When I start to feel like I'm losing myself in motherhood, he notices and encourages me to do something for myself. I read this quote that someone shared on Mother's Day that said ...
"I have been that mother - the really focused, engaged, loving mother who was all in, enjoying every speck of every second of motherhood. I have had days of basking in the moment and wanting it to last forever. I have been her, all of her. She is the woman I wish I was for my children at every moment. But I have also been a mother who felt like I could not answer one more question, listen to anymore crying, clean up one more mess. A mother who has felt so tired I thought I would split in two. I have been all of her too, every bit of her."
I am often hard on myself as a mom, always wanting to do more and be more for them. I'm lucky though to be surrounded by family and friends who encourage me and teach me daily that I am enough and exactly who they need.
Another poem that I came across on Mother's Day and had to share because it brought tears to my eyes and has had me slowing down and being more present with my kids ever since ...
| The Last Time |
From the moment you hold your baby in your arms, you will never be the same.
You might long for the person you were before, when you had freedom and time, and nothing in particular to worry about.
You will know tiredness like you never knew it before, and days will run into days that are exactly the same, full of feeding and burping, whining and fighting, or lack of naps.
It might seem like a never-ending cycle.
But don't forget ...
There is a last time for everything.
There will come a time when you will feed your baby for the very last time.
They will fall asleep on you after a long day and it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child.
One day you will carry them on your hip, then set them down, and never pick them up that way again.
You will scrub their hair in the bath one night and from that day on they will want to bathe alone.
They will hold your hand to cross the road, then never reach for it again.
They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles, and it will be the last night you ever wake for this.
One afternoon you will sing 'Wheels on the Bus' and do all the actions, then you'll never sing that song again.
They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate, the next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone.
You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your last dirty face.
They will one day run to you with arms raised, for the very last time.
The thing is, you won't even know it's the last time until there are no more times, remember there are only so many of them and when they are gone, you will yearn for just one more day of them.
For one last time.
These are the times and I don't want to take a single one for granted. Being Liam and Lyla's mom is who I was always meant to be and I'm so thankful every day that they picked me!
