the fourth trimester

Did you know there is such a thing?? A fourth trimester? I didn't either until I experienced it and man can it be hard. Physically, emotionally hard. 5 weeks of Lochia. 6 weeks of recovering from stitches. Many sleepless nights with every 2 hour feedings. A roller coaster of emotions I tell you what. Still not fitting in all of my clothes like I used to and having to continue to wear some maternity clothes without a baby in my belly. It has not always been fun times! Most days I don't even get fully ready anymore. I jump in the shower to wash off the dried spit up and then put my hair in a wet bun and call it good for the day. I think there have been only a couple of times so far where I got fully ready (showered, hair, make up, and dressed) all before 10 A.M. and on those days I felt like super woman and I only have one child! haha Heaven help us when we all have to be up, ready, and out the door by 7:15 for work when my maternity leave ends. BUT.... 

The fourth trimester is also so amazing. Newborn snuggles all day long and constantly surrounded by that incredible newborn smell. I could hold Liam in my arms all day, staring at him, singing him songs, watching him smile back at me while he drifts off to sleep. We have spent many days doing just that together and it has been wonderful. I'll miss it so so much in 3 weeks. I cry just thinking about it.

The truth is, I wouldn't trade that fourth trimester for the world because the hard parts have been worth every.single.second. I completely adore this little boy of ours and am so lucky to be his mom! 

two months

t w o   m o n t h s   o l d

stats

..................

11 pounds, 3 ounces

22 inches long

loves

...............

wearing only a diaper.

staring at lights.

going on a drive.

nursing.

mornings.

baths.

snuggling.

dislikes

...................

his crib.

shots (but who doesn't!!)

My little Liam,

You turned two months old on Monday! So far you have two nicknames,,. little handsome and L man. You have had lots of visitors this month. All of your grandparents have gotten to see you and absolutely adore you. We celebrated your second first holiday, Thanksgiving, and although you couldn't actually eat the turkey dinner yourself, you sure had the after effects that turkey has and snoozed the afternoon away. Those little legs of yours are starting to have some serious power behind them and you now push yourself up with your arms when you are on your tummy. Even though your head still bobs around, I know you will be holding it up on your own for more than a few seconds any day now. By far my favorite memory from this month is that you started smiling!! Before now it was only when you were dreaming but now you take one look at me and flash that big old grin of yours and my heart melts into a puddle on the floor. You wake up somewhere between 8:30 - 9:30 every morning and it is my favorite time of day because it is when you are the most smiley. You got your first set of shots today and it was the saddest thing in the whole world watching you feeling pain. I felt terrible! We just don't want you to get sick. Forget cute baby clothes, you love being in only a diaper! Baths are your favorite. You could be really upset one second and immediately calm the next as soon as we put you in your bath. You despise your crib but we are working on it. You are the nosiest sleeper in the world so we have to transition you sometime but I don't blame you because it is hard for me not having you in our room too. We love you more than you will ever know!

Love, Momma

one month updates here

Liam's newborn pictures

A week after we brought Liam home from the hospital we had a photographer come over to our home and take newborn pictures. I was nervous about it at first because we were being so overly cautious about exposing him to anything after having him in the NICU for so long that I don't think we relaxed for a second but I am so grateful to have captured him while he is so tiny and during our first days as a family of three. Here are a few several of my favorites...  

Our photographer also made this special video for us and even now, after watching it too many times to count, I still get all weepy every time because this was my dream that came true these two boys of mine. I love them with all that I am. 

Photos and Video by Jamie Findlay Photography

Liam's first Thanksgiving

One of the things I was looking forward to most about having a baby this Fall was getting to share all of his first holidays with him. First Halloween, first Thanksgiving, and coming right up, first Christmas!! Having him with us for his first Halloween and Thanksgiving have been just as magical as I thought they would.

On Thanksgiving Eve Liam sported an annual turkey bowl outfit thanks to grandma and grandpa West. My dad even submitted a picture of him in this onesie with his arms straight up in the air for an airline Thanksgiving Day contest with the caption "Touchdown for Turkey." Haven't heard if he won haha but if it were me, I'd pick his picture any day. Cutest baby there ever was! ;)

We hosted Thanksgiving at our house again this year and invited the grandmas over to join us. It was the first time both of them had seen Liam since he was born so needless to say, he rarely got set down. I don't think he minded one bit and the grandma's were in heaven!

It was nice having help with the cooking and cleaning since a big portion of the day was consumed with nursing. We did manage to squeeze in a couple of rounds of Rummikub. Such a fun new game we got when my dad and Edie were in town a couple of weeks ago. We filled our bellies full of turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, green bean casserole... ya know, the usual. It was the perfect day!

In true over-the-top crazy first mother fashion, I HAD to put him in this turkey outfit that my mom's best friend Janel got for him. I'm pretty sure Nic was eye rolling at me and Liam was not nearly as thrilled as I was about him wearing it for very long but what kind of mother would I be if EVERYTHING wasn't festive and documented for these first holidays. ;) kidding. 

Gosh, isn't he the cutest?! I can't EVEN! He also had a corn cob outfit that I tried to put him in but he completely freaked because it was the equivalent of swaddling and he was not a fan. 

My brother's birthday also happened to land on Thanksgiving day this year and while we weren't in the same town to celebrate, we sent him this birthday message from his nephew to know we were thinking of him. ;)

Hope you had a wonderful Turkey Day!

one month

o n e   m o n t h   o l d

s t a t s

....................

7 pounds, 11 ounces

19 1/2 inches long

l o v e s

......................

Breast feeding.

Your swing.

Tummy time and kicking your legs.

Being held and cradled against our chests.

d i s l i k e s

...........................

A bottle most of the time but you will tolerate it when you have to. 

Being swaddled, especially with your arms down and inside a blanket.

Pacifiers but sometimes you will take one so maybe they are growing on you??

Getting your diaper changed, especially in the middle of the night but who would like a cold wet wipe on their bum anyway!

My little guy, 

You are one month old already and it has been one of the best months of your dad and I's lives having you finally here and with us!! You still wear newborn diapers and clothes but you are growing away so I don't imagine you will stay in them too much longer. There was evidence of that when you gained a whole pound between your first and second doctor's visits. You experienced your first holiday this month {Halloween} and wore a costume that was much too big for you but you didn't mind. You slept right through it. :) You are discovering your vocal chords, particularly when you think you are STARVING which is any time you are awake. haha When you are not eating, you sleep most of the time. You are so curious and it is fun watching your eyes dart around the room as you take it all in. You don't like to hold still and flail your arms and legs about. When you are on your tummy, you try to scoot yourself along with your back frog legs and get so frustrated when you don't get anywhere. You learned to lift up and turn your own head during tummy time at just two weeks old. We were clapping and cheering you on! You also had your first of many baths which you enjoy for the first few minutes and then decide you've had it after that. You've gone on your first and only walk in your stroller, the snow and cold temperatures keep us in inside most of the time. It soothes you to have your hands right up against your face. You have just about the sharpest nails in the world, even your nurse said so at your second doctor's appointment, so we have to put you in mitten onesies to protect your face. Here we were thinking we'd have a bald baby but your light brown hair is growing by the minute. While a part of me wishes you could stay this little forever, I love watching you grow. I love every minute I get to spend at home with you. We love you so much!!!

Love, Mom 

Laundry basket tracking, a fun way to show his growth each month. :)

one of the best things about having a baby

One of the best things about having a baby has been seeing Nic become a dad. I always knew he would be an amazing one. It is one of the many reasons why I married this wonderful guy after all. :) But the moment Liam was placed in his arms and I got to watch the way he looked down at him like he would do anything in the whole world for this little boy, I fell in love with him all over again. 

He offers to stay awake at night time feedings with me even when there is nothing that he can be helping with other than keeping me company.

He changes some of the poopiest diapers which is something I never saw coming. ;)

He gets eye level with Liam when he has tummy time and talks away with him while Liam stares back in wonder. I can tell they are going to be best friends.

He already is Liam's biggest fan and encourages him when he tries to lift his neck and head for the first time or supports his feet as he tries to scoot himself along.

He prays for him, something he started doing when I was pregnant. 

He comes home from a long day of work and puts Liam on his chest where he quickly falls fast asleep, my favorite of all.

I posted this picture of Liam on Instagram on Firday morning and a neighbor commented on the picture and said she thought he looked just like Nic. I always hoped I would have a little boy that looked just like his daddy. :)

These two boys of mine make my dreams come true.

Liam's first bath

The day Liam turned a week old it was his 7th day in the NICU. Although as his mom, it felt like the millionth day. At his morning feeding, his nurse told me that he would be getting his first sponge bath today. Immediately I felt angry and devastated, feelings that seemed to consume me a lot that week. I was devastated that it was yet another experience I was being robbed of at home with my brand new little baby. The nurse sensing my feelings because let's be honest, I was probably wearing them on my sleeve because they felt impossible to hide, said that I could participate if I wanted to. Of course I did. I didn't want to miss a single thing and my feelings shifted to suddenly feeling grateful that we were going to get to be a part of it.

Nic and I came back together at his 8:30 feeding that evening. This was always our favorite feeding time with him because it seemed to be the time of day he was the most alert and made the most progress. The room was quiet and dimly lit as it usually was at night. Our favorite night nurse was watching Liam and she greeted us with her usual bubbly smile. She welcomed us to what she called "the baby spa" and explained the sponge bath process. Then she quietly stepped back and let Nic and I take over and share the experience together. Nic laid Liam on a towel and then slid his fingers into Liam's palms. His tiny hands quickly wrapped around and held on for dear life as I began running a warm wash cloth up and down his little legs. He began to cry from the cold so as soon as I was done washing off one part of his body, Nic would cover it with a towel and the cry would diminish to a whimper. After his body was clean I carried him over to the sink where I held his head under the warm running water and ran a brush through his hair. You would have thought he was going to dive into that sink at any moment. He was pushing away from my hands to get closer to the water. It was as if it was his favorite thing in the entire world! It may seem silly, but the whole experience felt like magic to me and so special. I don't have any physical pictures from it but it doesn't matter because those moments are ingrained in my memory.

Liam's first baths at home were equally as special as that first sponge bath in the NICU. Babies don't typically lose their umbilical cord until 10 - 14 days old and by the time we had brought Liam home his was barely hanging on by a thread. Because it still hadn't fallen off, we got to give him his first sponge bath at home. I think we both felt even more grateful for the first experience with the nurse because it made us newbies that much more prepared for this time at home on our own. It went very similar to the first time only this time, we captured the memory in pictures...

I adore this picture of Nic and Liam. Look at how sweet he is with his hands on his face and in his hair! 

A couple days later his umbilical cord fell off and heaven knows by that time he had enough very messy diapers to constitute another bath so we gave him his first real bath in the bathroom sink. I'm pretty sure he loved the first 5 minutes but then sort of lost his cool after that because he was hungry. I don't blame him one bit.

Oh my goodness, isn't he the sweetest?! And what better way to finish a first bath then with the one and only Sulley! :)