one month

o n e   m o n t h   o l d

s t a t s

....................

7 pounds, 11 ounces

19 1/2 inches long

l o v e s

......................

Breast feeding.

Your swing.

Tummy time and kicking your legs.

Being held and cradled against our chests.

d i s l i k e s

...........................

A bottle most of the time but you will tolerate it when you have to. 

Being swaddled, especially with your arms down and inside a blanket.

Pacifiers but sometimes you will take one so maybe they are growing on you??

Getting your diaper changed, especially in the middle of the night but who would like a cold wet wipe on their bum anyway!

My little guy, 

You are one month old already and it has been one of the best months of your dad and I's lives having you finally here and with us!! You still wear newborn diapers and clothes but you are growing away so I don't imagine you will stay in them too much longer. There was evidence of that when you gained a whole pound between your first and second doctor's visits. You experienced your first holiday this month {Halloween} and wore a costume that was much too big for you but you didn't mind. You slept right through it. :) You are discovering your vocal chords, particularly when you think you are STARVING which is any time you are awake. haha When you are not eating, you sleep most of the time. You are so curious and it is fun watching your eyes dart around the room as you take it all in. You don't like to hold still and flail your arms and legs about. When you are on your tummy, you try to scoot yourself along with your back frog legs and get so frustrated when you don't get anywhere. You learned to lift up and turn your own head during tummy time at just two weeks old. We were clapping and cheering you on! You also had your first of many baths which you enjoy for the first few minutes and then decide you've had it after that. You've gone on your first and only walk in your stroller, the snow and cold temperatures keep us in inside most of the time. It soothes you to have your hands right up against your face. You have just about the sharpest nails in the world, even your nurse said so at your second doctor's appointment, so we have to put you in mitten onesies to protect your face. Here we were thinking we'd have a bald baby but your light brown hair is growing by the minute. While a part of me wishes you could stay this little forever, I love watching you grow. I love every minute I get to spend at home with you. We love you so much!!!

Love, Mom 

Laundry basket tracking, a fun way to show his growth each month. :)

one of the best things about having a baby

One of the best things about having a baby has been seeing Nic become a dad. I always knew he would be an amazing one. It is one of the many reasons why I married this wonderful guy after all. :) But the moment Liam was placed in his arms and I got to watch the way he looked down at him like he would do anything in the whole world for this little boy, I fell in love with him all over again. 

He offers to stay awake at night time feedings with me even when there is nothing that he can be helping with other than keeping me company.

He changes some of the poopiest diapers which is something I never saw coming. ;)

He gets eye level with Liam when he has tummy time and talks away with him while Liam stares back in wonder. I can tell they are going to be best friends.

He already is Liam's biggest fan and encourages him when he tries to lift his neck and head for the first time or supports his feet as he tries to scoot himself along.

He prays for him, something he started doing when I was pregnant. 

He comes home from a long day of work and puts Liam on his chest where he quickly falls fast asleep, my favorite of all.

I posted this picture of Liam on Instagram on Firday morning and a neighbor commented on the picture and said she thought he looked just like Nic. I always hoped I would have a little boy that looked just like his daddy. :)

These two boys of mine make my dreams come true.

Liam's first bath

The day Liam turned a week old it was his 7th day in the NICU. Although as his mom, it felt like the millionth day. At his morning feeding, his nurse told me that he would be getting his first sponge bath today. Immediately I felt angry and devastated, feelings that seemed to consume me a lot that week. I was devastated that it was yet another experience I was being robbed of at home with my brand new little baby. The nurse sensing my feelings because let's be honest, I was probably wearing them on my sleeve because they felt impossible to hide, said that I could participate if I wanted to. Of course I did. I didn't want to miss a single thing and my feelings shifted to suddenly feeling grateful that we were going to get to be a part of it.

Nic and I came back together at his 8:30 feeding that evening. This was always our favorite feeding time with him because it seemed to be the time of day he was the most alert and made the most progress. The room was quiet and dimly lit as it usually was at night. Our favorite night nurse was watching Liam and she greeted us with her usual bubbly smile. She welcomed us to what she called "the baby spa" and explained the sponge bath process. Then she quietly stepped back and let Nic and I take over and share the experience together. Nic laid Liam on a towel and then slid his fingers into Liam's palms. His tiny hands quickly wrapped around and held on for dear life as I began running a warm wash cloth up and down his little legs. He began to cry from the cold so as soon as I was done washing off one part of his body, Nic would cover it with a towel and the cry would diminish to a whimper. After his body was clean I carried him over to the sink where I held his head under the warm running water and ran a brush through his hair. You would have thought he was going to dive into that sink at any moment. He was pushing away from my hands to get closer to the water. It was as if it was his favorite thing in the entire world! It may seem silly, but the whole experience felt like magic to me and so special. I don't have any physical pictures from it but it doesn't matter because those moments are ingrained in my memory.

Liam's first baths at home were equally as special as that first sponge bath in the NICU. Babies don't typically lose their umbilical cord until 10 - 14 days old and by the time we had brought Liam home his was barely hanging on by a thread. Because it still hadn't fallen off, we got to give him his first sponge bath at home. I think we both felt even more grateful for the first experience with the nurse because it made us newbies that much more prepared for this time at home on our own. It went very similar to the first time only this time, we captured the memory in pictures...

I adore this picture of Nic and Liam. Look at how sweet he is with his hands on his face and in his hair! 

A couple days later his umbilical cord fell off and heaven knows by that time he had enough very messy diapers to constitute another bath so we gave him his first real bath in the bathroom sink. I'm pretty sure he loved the first 5 minutes but then sort of lost his cool after that because he was hungry. I don't blame him one bit.

Oh my goodness, isn't he the sweetest?! And what better way to finish a first bath then with the one and only Sulley! :)

the first three weeks

Liam turned three weeks old already on Monday. All I can think to myself is where has the time gone? I imagine I'll be saying that a lot as a parent. I've spent the last few days thinking about these first three weeks, replaying them over and over again in my head, and trying to figure out how I can put them into words. They have been equally the hardest and best of my life and I think Nic would say the same. So so special to me.

As I mentioned here, our little guy surprised us and came two weeks early and while I was considered full term at the time and many women safely deliver babies at 38 weeks, his birth came with complications for the both of us. By the fourth day, my complications were under control and I was discharged from the hospital but Liam spent the first 10 days of his life in the NICU with what felt like hurdle after hurdle to jump. Those are 10 days that even now, I have a really hard time going back and thinking about. They are filled with very raw and personal feelings which is why I won't be sharing more about them here. Just know that my heart goes out to any mom who has to leave the hospital without their baby for any length of time.

The days that followed since have been filled with pure sleepless bliss. Our first night that we brought him home from the hospital, I don't think either of us got a wink of sleep. Every coo, sigh, toot, noise startled us awake to check on him. It was my constant worry that somehow the blanket I had tightly swaddled him in would creep up close to his face making it so that he wouldn't be able to breathe. The next two nights I tried a velcro swaddle me sleeper and while it eased my nerves about him suffocating in the middle of the night... he hated them! We have since learned that he has to have his hands out of his blanket and up against his face to soothe himself. Isn't that the funny thing about being a new mom and dad? Trying everything until you find something that works for your baby. We've done the same with just about every bottle type there is... Avent, Tommy Tipee,  Medella... until finally settling on the Munchkin Latch bottle. As I predicted, night time feedings are the hardest and have been the biggest adjustment but those sighs with each gulp, just him and I surrounded in the quiet that night brings, and that milk drunk smile at the end make it totally worth every second of missed sleep. And when he falls asleep on our chests... pure heaven.

I guess what I am trying to say is that it has only been three weeks but we already can't imagine our lives without him!

Happy Halloween {2014}

"A puppy says BOO!" ... yeah, we're still working on that one. ;)

Happy Halloween from our sleepy baby bear!

Nic and I originally planned on dressing up as Juno Macguff and Paulie Bleeker for Halloween this year but things changed. ;) For the better I might add! Instead, we kept it simple with my Hurley Halloween shirt from like the 6th grade HA, a black t-shirt for Nic, and the sweetest baby bear outfit you ever did see. We had the perfect evening together tucked away inside from the cold. Nic made tomato basil tortellini soup {look at him go!} with a Geraldine's roll and chocolate chip pumpkin bread thanks to the sweetest cousins in the world who left it as a gift on our front porch. We watched Vampire Diaries because let's face it, that's about as scary as it gets for me. But most of all, we snuggled our little baby bear all night long and felt incredibly grateful we were spending the holiday as a family at home instead of in the NICU. We are loving sharing all of these firsts with him. First Halloween and doctor's visit on October 31st.

Hope you had a beary spooktacular Halloween! :)  

due date + a video looking back

Today would have been my due date but instead, our little guy decided to surprise us and come a little early so we get to spend the day holding him in our arms! These last 12 days have made me miss carrying him with me wherever I go but there is something even more special about having a huge piece of your heart outside of your body. I have so many fond moments of being pregnant with Liam and these are just some of those moments watching him grow. This Brad Paisley song came on the radio as we were driving to the hospital. It was the first time we both had ever heard it and now it will forever remind me of my little family of three that I love so much!

he's here!

L I A M     R E X   W I L L I A M S O N

Monday, October 20, 2014 {3;30 A.M.}

6 pounds, 6 ounces

19 inches

Our little Liam Rex was born in the quiet hours of the early morning on October 20th. He surprised us both and came 2 weeks early after my water broke Saturday evening. He is the sweetest and strongest little boy and we already can't imagine our lives without him. We absolutely adore him and are so happy to finally have him home with us. We love you Liam!